AH-mazing relief!

I suffer from the dreadful scoliosis, and never had a true plan of action on how to take care of it since my surgery back in the early 80s.  Between the doctors not knowing how long I'd survive, and having young parents; I never had a true physical therapy.  

When I was a pre-teen I had started for a few weeks, but then it stopped due to cost and time.  Then I continued my life, and I tried again after I finished college, but my bills started to rack up quickly as my insurance misquoted my therapist.  

Now in my 30s I'm BACK at it.  I've even started a GOFUNDME account as  suggested by a friend to try and help offset the high cost of what I need to go through to FINALLY reach a level of comfort.  It's not going SO well as it won't go "public" until I hit $500.00, but I'm TRYING.  

Recently I contacted a place in Lancaster that deals with scoliosis.  They have a nonsurgical approved that is supposed to help if you don't have fusion and such; but I do.  I've contacted Dr. Stitzel and he suggested I get an MRI of my spine to rule out a few items.  I'd like to and plan to, but I need to research it well; again, cost.  

In the meantime I was on GROUPON looking for a massage deal since they usually help.  I saw a "deal" for acupuncture, and have heard it is great; so i thought I'd give it a try.  I bought the GROUPON, and same day called to make my appointment.  I got in within the week, which was today...  Let me tell you, I'm SO glad that I gave it a try.

Dr. Marco DiBonaventura loves what he does, and it shows.  He pretty quickly makes you feel comfortable, and enjoys when he sees results.  I went in not knowing what to expect or anything, but it went well.  The needles don't really hurt; it's was a slight sting.  It hurt more when I'd try to move and damn little needles are IN me and my muscles are trying to move/flex.  I was surprised to get poked in two toes, and then mid arm on each, and THAT helped my issues.  As I played there I could feel my stiff neck getting more loose as time went by.  My midsection/curvature was lessening, and I could tell as I had to adjust my cushion under my legs.  I was feeling more erect and had to adjust. hmmmm.  After an hour session we were done and I was on my way.  I left feeling a little "off", but it's expected.  My body is adjusting to what was just done.  When I sat in my vehicle I was to really adjust my rearview mirror, which tells me that my back is more erect than it was previously.  I REALLY had to adjust it.  It was ridiculous; I was in shock and near tears.  On my drive home I lean forward a bit and feel my back; no MAJOR curvature.  It was a lot straighter than I have ever felt it.  It's not correct and still off, but the major pain and major curve was highly lessened.  WOW!  Dr. D believes that my issues is not a bone issue, but a liver and kidney issue.  The muscles he worked on are minor muscles that are not getting the nutrients and hydration that it needs.  I will most likely be put on some regimen to help regulate the muscles so they don't keep contracting and causing this painful curve.

I am honestly very happy that I tried this. I have another session coming up on Monday unless I call to squeeze it in tomorrow.  Then I have a third a few days after.  We are tracking the progress and how I feel to determine if this is something that we can keep doing to help me.  

The part that worries me is the cost.  I don't know how much this is going to cost, and that scares me. Something besides massage that is even MORE effective than anything I've tried thus far, and there's a change I won't be able to do what I need to to just live an active normal lifestyle.  

I shall keep documenting my progress.  Please, if you have chronic pain and such try acupuncture and  the different options out there.  I took a chance, and who knows if this will change my life...

I hope and pray that this is something I can do.  I'm SO tired of the pain and issues. Even my breathing is better; my diaphragm doesn't feel so tight.  I can actually breath better than I normally can.

The Evolution of "Love".

Love.  What comes to mind?  What does it mean to YOU?  I've been thinking about this one and off for awhile, but as of late it's been really been hitting home on what LOVE means.
As a kid LOVE meant someone doing a nice gesture for you, and we thought that warm fuzzy nice feeling for LOVE.  The LOVE from the parent(s) that's always there for you, and who later on in life becomes your best friend.  As you get older the WHOREmones kick in, and what we think is LOVE is most likely LUST; or the hormones kicking in over-drive.

Then we age a little more and LOVE is the person that give us that attention that we seek.  The person that we find attractive.  We as humans seek that companionship of someone that "completes" us, and we cannot live without...  Well, I've hit the next step.

Love is great don't get me wrong, but I don't think we have ONE love in life.  I believe we have many, but it's that ONE that makes us want to get better ourselves, to work together so the BOTH of you can be a better as a whole; not just individually.  This whole, oh he/she completes me, and that's all I need; is complete bullshit.
You don't need someone to "complete" you; you are fine the way are, but I'm sure there are things you can work on; especially if you are one to bitch about something all the time, and don't put it the effort.  We are all human, and we all constantly change; we experience and feel things in life that change our views and perception of life.
The loss of a parent; now feeling abandoned...
The loss of a child; how could this happens, and where did I go wrong?
The loss of a pet; what it?  I couldn't afford it.....
It could be a medical emergency or an enlightenment that we experience that changes us...

BEEN THERE.

I've hit the age where I want to find someone LIKE me, but not me.  If I wanted to date me, I'd be single and enjoying my own company...

I would like:

someone who accepts me for my whacky-ness, and flaws, and it's those flaws that makes my 1/2 fall in love with me; each time I do it.

Someone that is there to push me when I'm down....  and I push them right back...

Someone that is there 110% when I'm ill and need the help.  There should be no task that should be turned down...

Someone that shares some common goals in life, and doesn't settle because one of us "has" to or just does..  It's about compromise and working together.

Someone that sees me dancing while putting away the laundry, and we break out into a dance party or roots me on...

Someone that appreciates the hopeless romantic I am, and sappy guy I can be.

Someone that will grow old with me, and when they look at me sees the love and history we have had together.  Each wrinkle a year that has done by, and each laugh line a reminder of the laughter and good times we've had...

Someone that can open up to me emotionally, and sexually.  It's all about talking and communication...  Try something new; SEXplore. It's worth trying at LEAST once.

Someone who will help discipline the kids as I most likely would be the "bad cop".

Someone that is passionate about something in their life...  A career, a hobby; anything...

Someone that doesn't throw the past and lessons I've learned from in my face later on down the line; we ALL mess up and do stupid things, it's how we learn...

..I know that I can be stubborn, but the someONE I marry will understand why...  My past and life hasn't been the easiest, and I've had to FIGHT and struggle; SINCE BIRTH.  If it wasn't for me having a go-get-it attitude, I would NOT be here today.  It's not going to change; I will die fighting, and I'm o'kay with that.  After the cancer issues I've accepted death, and have left it in the hand's of a higher power.  It's MY past and my story that has toughen me, but also showed me to value, honor, and respect what I have in my life...

Too many people stay in relationships because they are scared of the unknown; that's NOT good.  First of all, COMMUNICATE; it's KEY.  If you know you are truly not happy; it's o'kay to take time for yourself and find YOU.  You must love yourself before you can worry about another person and children.  
People stay in relationships because they are comfortable, or don't know how to leave.  Seek help from a relative or loved one.  If you need to talk to someone seek a good honest chat with a psychologist; there is NOTHING wrong with that.  There are lot of people who see a life coach often to just be able to talk and get it out; it works.
Young parents stay together because of the kids; the mother and father will always be the mother and father... a child would prefer their parents come from TWO HAPPY ones than one broken one...  


Love.  It's complicated, but possible.  Find YOU. Be YOU.

-Los