...I'd rather just die...

     It's been three days since my acupuncture visit, and so far it's been quite interesting.  Thursday night I took a melatonin pill to help me sleep, and to see if my back would get better.  I kept waking up throughout the night, so I'd straighten my body as much as possibly. I still got pretty good sleep, and even woke up earlier than expected.  As soon as I woke up I felt my back to see if it felt straight at all, and it still seemed pretty decent.

   Friday night I had a wedding to attend of a close friend I've had since 4th grade, and my back help up for the most part.  There were many times were it felt a bit weak, so I didn't dance like crazy.  Typically I'd dance the night away and just enjoy myself; not this time.  

Saturday rolled around, and I decided to hit the gym a little and soak my back.  I started to get that extreme pain against my ribs.  I didn't realize it was going to rain, which is why I was in pain.  The pain was pretty bad; I even started to feel like I wanted to toss my cookies.  

Sunday I got up, and my back feels pretty decent.  I went and got a massage, because I felt my lower back that a bone around my backside was started to stick out from what I had done.  

I figure that between massage, acupuncture, and going to the gym should do me well if I keep along this route in the progression I am seeing thus far.  

( Oh!  so let me back track.  I went locally to a store that is like a boutique locally that is closing, and got chatting with two ladies there.  I find out that the one lady's grandchild has scoliosis as well, and also went to Alfred I. DuPont hospital.  She mentioned how the "child" got kicked out when he/she turned around 20.  I was stunned!....  I was told I could not go anymore, and I wasn't even 15 yet.  What gives?! That REALLY pisses me off, because I never got the care I should have as a child or teen with this condition. )

I am in pain as my organs are being pushed around, and something inside aren't used to being moved, so some are being pushed to a different area, while other are being pulled; ouchie!  Being forward is NOT comfortable at all, but I'll take it over lessened pain and better hip rotation.  I seem to have more energy as it's not being wasted on dealing with the pain; at least that's MY assessment.  I did take a small nap/rest today, because I could feel my back was tired.  

I understand that my back is NOT cured by any means, and it'll never look normal.  At least the pain is less, the curve seems less, and maybe they can do another type of surgery from allowing it to go back to what it was; we shall see what happens.  One of my biggest concerns right now is cost.  I am not sure if I am going to be able to afford this.  

Tomorrow is my second session, and that's the end of my GROUPON deal; two sessions.  I shall then discuss with the doctor, and see what the charge is per visit, and then for the nutrition/vitamin portion.    

Hopefully the GOFUNDME starts to pick up, and this is finally getting movement, and I would LIKE to keep it going.  I finally feel like I've been given yet another change at life.  Just within the last few weeks I've been in SO much pain that I've caught myself thinking to myself how I'd rather just die than deal with this pain every day.  Unless you have chronic pain you have no idea what I'm dealing with.  I feel so alone and abandoned when it comes to this.  I have no where to turn, and not sure what to do...  Hopefully what I'd doing is something that will work for MANY yrs. to come.  

This COULD be life changing for me...